Bacon Soup is back. After a much-needed sojourn we have decided that we will not let our hatred for Mickey the Homophobic Bigot stop us from blogging. And now we don't care who we piss off. The purpose of Bacon Soup IS to piss people off so suck it up bitches.
And apparently while we were on sabbatical, you losers were typing up a fuckin' storm.
So here we go:
Victim: Mickey the homophobic bigot
Blog title: My girlfriend loves you more than me, but otherwise it was a good weekend
Mickey says: And Wii we did. Once our right arms were about to fall off, Courtney and I created bizarro Miis and played everything left-handed, the result being that now we each have a case of double Wii-arm. The really bad news is that I'm looking forward to going home and playing some more.
Bacon Soup says: When we left off months ago I believe the highlight of Mickey and Courtney's life was Wii. Now, months later it seems that the highlight of their otherwise uneventful lives is still Wii... albeit left-handed wii. Can someone just put these two out of their collective misery? We can either shoot them both or have Courtney have to sit and read 3 of Mickey's posts in a row. When she kills herself because of boredom then he will blame his colorless writing and hopefully take his own life which is pretty much in the shitter anyway.
Victim: Jacob the beer guzzling dork
Blog title: A Live Blog About a Live Blog
Bacon Soup says: You have got to be fuckin' kidding me. He's updating his blog every few minutes now? I think i would rather read Mickey the homophobic bigot's hate-filled drivel than a minute-by-minute update of jacob's wretched existence. But, whatever you need to fill the time between jerking off and cooking some fucked-up looking eggs is your own business i guess.
Victims: Meaghan and Chris
Blog title: What A Day
Meaghan says: Chris was outside working on the door he built for the crawl space. I helped a bit but ended up spending most of the day baby sitting the dogs.
Bacon Soup says: Wow. and i thought mountain-bitch mickey and just-discovered-video-game-technology Courtney had boring lives. But at least Meaghan and Chris are doing something constructive to their home. So i guess i can't be too hard on them. Although i don't know if the subject matter warranted a blog.
Victim: Loree .... and Mickey the homophic bigot by extension
Blog Title: I'm in the mood to gripe
Bacon Soup says: so what else is new? Let's see something mildly interesting on this blog for a change, Stark. Sure the renaming of frogs was a thrilling post by your co-blogger Laura. And how could we not swoon at your discovery of a Zappo's outlet in Shepherdsville, Kentucky. But spice it up a bit. Where's the sex? where's the scandal? You need to check out my former friend Mickey the Homophobic Bigot's blog. That's an example of what you DON'T want yours to look like. That fuckin' hate monger's stream-of-consciousness posts are ridiculously boring.
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9 comments:
Back with a vengeance, I see. More like a fully automatic machine gun now than a sniper rifle.
You win this time, Bacon.
Yay! I look forward to watching you mutilate each and every one of us!
And it was good, too! I genuinely feel like my life is a waste and that I really have nothing to live for rather than just being disappointed in another half-assed attempt at insult. This is what BS should be!
Welcome back, you lazy bitch.
Glad you're back after your "much-needed" break. Because making fun of other people's blogs has got to be soooooo taxing.
it IS taxing, Courtney. do you know how hard it is to come up with new, creative ways to say Mickey sucks dick?
If only you would! "Sucks dick" is a refreshing change from "homophobic bigot."
sorry buddy. you've earned that title it's gonna stick till you offend me in some OTHER way :)
You're back! You hadn't posted in so long that I hadn't checked out the Bacon for a while. I see I'll need to being paying attention again.
yes laura. long story short, this douche-bag Mickey the homophobic bigot pissed us off and we rebelled by discontinuing our posts. but public outcry for more bacon soup was so overwhelming that we had to start blogging again. the public loves us i tell you.
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