Breaking from my usual friend-ridiculing posts, I've been pondering the meaning of several sayings and colloquial expressions. As many of you know, I'm very interested in why we say some of the things we do. For many cliches and expressions, you can pretty much guess at their origins and the reasons they became popular expressions. But then there are some that i simply cannon figure out. I know that there are some enlightened individuals in my circle of friends and perhaps they may enlighten me as to the origins of these. Please feel free to add to this list if there are expressions you can't figure out:
1. I've got you by the short and curlies - i assume at some point, someone would have had to have someone else by the "short and curlies" which i presume to be the pubes. but could this situation really have been so universal that it became a popular expression for an inescapable situation?
2. Balls to the wall - WTF?
3. How do you like THEM apples? - why would this come to be a belittling or even condescending expression?
4. Balls deep - i guess i know what it means but i just .... i just don't know why it's a popular expression ... maybe i'm just hanging around with the wrong crowd.
5. Are you SHITTING me? - I absolutely hate it when people say this. What does that even mean?
6. Fuckin' A
7. Damn Skippy
Also, how did we come up with all these names for Penises and Vaginas:
Beaver, Cock, Pecker, Snatch
I can see where "pink taco," "wiener" and "pickle" could be used because one could argue that the basic shapes are similar to parts of the body. but why PECKER?
These are just a few and i'll probably be adding to the list later. I'm hoping for your sake that Jacob will do his usual Jacob thing and list the origins and difinitive meanings of each of these phrases as well as their Latin translations and the names of the people who originally uttered them. He's weird like that. But I heart him and wouldn't change him for the world.
Thanks for your help, everyone.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Victim: Steven (my roomate)
Steven says: i can't believe you waisted your concert debut with the verve "pipe". i just remember pissing you off all the time when you were listening to the verve and i would always refer them to as the verve pipe, haha. i have to take in the concert life through your writting due to the fact i have never participated in concerting. thank you for the vivid picture along with the Bose like description of the accustics given off by each venues architectual structure.
Bacon Soup says: let me preface this by saying that Steven is my roommate and went to school with Mickey. Although steven spells at a 4th grade level and has Mike Tyson's command of grammar, he makes way more money than I do. So i'm fairly bitter and resentful toward him.
Anygay.... here we see that Steven has commented on Mickey's blog - if you know steven at all you'd know how ridiculous it is that he's reading ANYTHING so i was fairly shocked when i saw that he had commented on a blog. I think he's trying to reestablish his bonds of friendship with Mickey, hence the extra effort to read his blog and comment. What i like about the blog is that right out of the block steven gives me something i can work with, writing WAISTED instead of wasted. In sentence three we see where my functionally illiterate roomie has spelled writing with 2 T's and turns the word "concert" into a verb by adding -ing to it. In the final sentence steven doubles up on his effort to nullify conventional spelling with "accustics" and "architectual." Steven's a good guy, but Merriam-Webster he aynt.
Steven says: i can't believe you waisted your concert debut with the verve "pipe". i just remember pissing you off all the time when you were listening to the verve and i would always refer them to as the verve pipe, haha. i have to take in the concert life through your writting due to the fact i have never participated in concerting. thank you for the vivid picture along with the Bose like description of the accustics given off by each venues architectual structure.
Bacon Soup says: let me preface this by saying that Steven is my roommate and went to school with Mickey. Although steven spells at a 4th grade level and has Mike Tyson's command of grammar, he makes way more money than I do. So i'm fairly bitter and resentful toward him.
Anygay.... here we see that Steven has commented on Mickey's blog - if you know steven at all you'd know how ridiculous it is that he's reading ANYTHING so i was fairly shocked when i saw that he had commented on a blog. I think he's trying to reestablish his bonds of friendship with Mickey, hence the extra effort to read his blog and comment. What i like about the blog is that right out of the block steven gives me something i can work with, writing WAISTED instead of wasted. In sentence three we see where my functionally illiterate roomie has spelled writing with 2 T's and turns the word "concert" into a verb by adding -ing to it. In the final sentence steven doubles up on his effort to nullify conventional spelling with "accustics" and "architectual." Steven's a good guy, but Merriam-Webster he aynt.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
I'm FAMOUS... suck it bitches. i've got my own ode
Victim: Meaghan M
Blog Title: Ode to Severo
Meaghan says: Why, oh why, must this bacon-loving, Stevie Nicks-adoring, Lola-toting fiend carry such a grudge against his fellow man? Because this self-proclaimed emotionless wit is showing his love for his neighbor. That's right. The school yard behavior of crushing those in which you place the most care has ne'er left his wary side, despite the many years he carries.After much time in the faraway lands of Belize and Kentucky, this not-so-well traveled, former spoiled Latin American inhabitant has made the decision to attempt to humiliate those more fortunate who have written their ideas on said blogs... by creating a blog. This act has proven one thing: It's apparently not an erroneous deed to create a blog, since, as we all well know, actions speak louder than words.
Bacon Soup says: First of all i'd like to thank meaghan for mentioning me in her blog and composing an entire ode to me. As we celebrities know, all publicity is good publicity at the end of the day so i LOVE it. This is a must read, Gang. She mentions me and Stevie Nicks and even Lola, as well as Belize and the great state of Kentucky. Plus she compares me to such luminaries in the field as John Stewart, Steven Colbert and The Onion writers - although she says that i'm not even close to them in talent. But still, she gets what i'm trying to do.
However, the only thing i'd like to contest in her Ode is her assertion that my blog is an extension of my habit of poking fun of the people I care for the most, insinuating that my way of showing my affection for my "friends" is through sarcasm and ridicule. This is a scandalous LIE that will no doubt get Mrs. Marr slapped with a defamation lawsuit. As i have asserted MANY times in the past, I am an ancaring, unfeeling cyborg incapable of human emotion. There are no so-called feelings of "friendship" and "love" - as i have heard it called - in the black void that is my chest cavity.
other than that it was pretty much right on the money. check it out by clicking on the blog title above or clicking on Meaghan Marr under my Victims' Blogs list on the left side of your screen.
Blog Title: Ode to Severo
Meaghan says: Why, oh why, must this bacon-loving, Stevie Nicks-adoring, Lola-toting fiend carry such a grudge against his fellow man? Because this self-proclaimed emotionless wit is showing his love for his neighbor. That's right. The school yard behavior of crushing those in which you place the most care has ne'er left his wary side, despite the many years he carries.After much time in the faraway lands of Belize and Kentucky, this not-so-well traveled, former spoiled Latin American inhabitant has made the decision to attempt to humiliate those more fortunate who have written their ideas on said blogs... by creating a blog. This act has proven one thing: It's apparently not an erroneous deed to create a blog, since, as we all well know, actions speak louder than words.
Bacon Soup says: First of all i'd like to thank meaghan for mentioning me in her blog and composing an entire ode to me. As we celebrities know, all publicity is good publicity at the end of the day so i LOVE it. This is a must read, Gang. She mentions me and Stevie Nicks and even Lola, as well as Belize and the great state of Kentucky. Plus she compares me to such luminaries in the field as John Stewart, Steven Colbert and The Onion writers - although she says that i'm not even close to them in talent. But still, she gets what i'm trying to do.
However, the only thing i'd like to contest in her Ode is her assertion that my blog is an extension of my habit of poking fun of the people I care for the most, insinuating that my way of showing my affection for my "friends" is through sarcasm and ridicule. This is a scandalous LIE that will no doubt get Mrs. Marr slapped with a defamation lawsuit. As i have asserted MANY times in the past, I am an ancaring, unfeeling cyborg incapable of human emotion. There are no so-called feelings of "friendship" and "love" - as i have heard it called - in the black void that is my chest cavity.
other than that it was pretty much right on the money. check it out by clicking on the blog title above or clicking on Meaghan Marr under my Victims' Blogs list on the left side of your screen.
Mickey the chauvinist bigot .... allegedly
Victim: Mickey D
Blog Title: I have derailed
Mickey says: I had nothing but potato chips for lunch today and let me tell you why: I could have sworn Courtney was making a lunch last night that did not include the leftover pizza, but when I was ready to leave for work this morning and went to get the pizza and put it in my cooler…no pizza! I know! What a bitch, right?! Who needs sliced cheese and pizza? Cheese overload!
Bacon Soup says: Man, Mickey was really searching for blog content today. We see in his latest post that apparently he had to endure eating potato chips today because.... wait for it...... Courtney (his better half) didn't put the leftover pizza in his cooler.
Well Fuck Me! How dare Courtney not make sure your lunch is where it should be before you leave for work? I don't condone domestic violence but this is once instance where i'll look the other way. What the hell does Courtney think, that you (a hardworking guy) can be bothered to prepare your own lunch and make sure it's in your cooler before you go to work? What a bitch!!!
Blog Title: I have derailed
Mickey says: I had nothing but potato chips for lunch today and let me tell you why: I could have sworn Courtney was making a lunch last night that did not include the leftover pizza, but when I was ready to leave for work this morning and went to get the pizza and put it in my cooler…no pizza! I know! What a bitch, right?! Who needs sliced cheese and pizza? Cheese overload!
Bacon Soup says: Man, Mickey was really searching for blog content today. We see in his latest post that apparently he had to endure eating potato chips today because.... wait for it...... Courtney (his better half) didn't put the leftover pizza in his cooler.
Well Fuck Me! How dare Courtney not make sure your lunch is where it should be before you leave for work? I don't condone domestic violence but this is once instance where i'll look the other way. What the hell does Courtney think, that you (a hardworking guy) can be bothered to prepare your own lunch and make sure it's in your cooler before you go to work? What a bitch!!!
words we should NEVER use ... thanks to Courtney
Victim: Courtney C
Blog Title: On Pythons and Fugliness
Courtney says: Now, I am fully aware that Uggs are probably very comfortable, and it’s likely that they keep the wearer’s legs warm and toasty during the frosty winter months. But? They are the second fugliest shoes in the history of footwear, right behind Crocs. The worst is when sorority girls proudly wear their Uggs with a super-short skirt and bare legs. How does that make sense? If they get frostbite from their mid-calves all the way up to their va-jay-jays, they deserve it. Oh, but it gets worse. I present to you: The Ugg-Teva Hybrid.
Bacon Soup says: Courtney was ranting today about a little boy being eaten by his pet python and railing against the fashion atrocity that is the Ugg. I agree that Uggs are the Uggliest fashion disasters since capris and skorts. HOWEVER, I must reprimand Courtney for the use of the word FUGLIEST. I absolutely HATE stupid made up words like Fugly. Partially because they're just mushed-together words and partially because most people use them so that people will chuckly and say "fugly? that's funny cause it means fuckin' ugly. You're clever and hip to have used that word."
So i kindly ask Courtney to NEVER use Fugly again. This is also extended to the use of another stupid, made-up, mushed together word: GINORMOUS. Please never use that word again (those of you reading this know who you are). It's STUPID and you sound like an ass when you use it.
Blog Title: On Pythons and Fugliness
Courtney says: Now, I am fully aware that Uggs are probably very comfortable, and it’s likely that they keep the wearer’s legs warm and toasty during the frosty winter months. But? They are the second fugliest shoes in the history of footwear, right behind Crocs. The worst is when sorority girls proudly wear their Uggs with a super-short skirt and bare legs. How does that make sense? If they get frostbite from their mid-calves all the way up to their va-jay-jays, they deserve it. Oh, but it gets worse. I present to you: The Ugg-Teva Hybrid.
Bacon Soup says: Courtney was ranting today about a little boy being eaten by his pet python and railing against the fashion atrocity that is the Ugg. I agree that Uggs are the Uggliest fashion disasters since capris and skorts. HOWEVER, I must reprimand Courtney for the use of the word FUGLIEST. I absolutely HATE stupid made up words like Fugly. Partially because they're just mushed-together words and partially because most people use them so that people will chuckly and say "fugly? that's funny cause it means fuckin' ugly. You're clever and hip to have used that word."
So i kindly ask Courtney to NEVER use Fugly again. This is also extended to the use of another stupid, made-up, mushed together word: GINORMOUS. Please never use that word again (those of you reading this know who you are). It's STUPID and you sound like an ass when you use it.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Poor, Poor Pitiful ... Ken
Victim: Ken C
Blog Title: Quick Update
Ken C says: So I got a friend really drunk and made him watch a couple of Harry Potter movies and now he's totally into them. But before he mocked me and others for liking the story... Odd. Does this make me evil that I made him nonsober and made him do this? hehe I think not! Everyone should read/watch these movies. They will be classic and historical.
Bacon Soup says: Sadly, there are some of you reading this - particularly Taylor - who are thinking "I love Harry Potter. Those movies WILL be classic and historical." Get a life. If you can't see the fucked-up-edness of Ken getting a guy drunk and forcing him to watch Harry Potter then you should be shot.
P.S. check out ken's myspace page. you're gonna SHIT yourself. Keep in mind he's a straight, 26-year-old professional photographer.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=1233526
Blog Title: Quick Update
Ken C says: So I got a friend really drunk and made him watch a couple of Harry Potter movies and now he's totally into them. But before he mocked me and others for liking the story... Odd. Does this make me evil that I made him nonsober and made him do this? hehe I think not! Everyone should read/watch these movies. They will be classic and historical.
Bacon Soup says: Sadly, there are some of you reading this - particularly Taylor - who are thinking "I love Harry Potter. Those movies WILL be classic and historical." Get a life. If you can't see the fucked-up-edness of Ken getting a guy drunk and forcing him to watch Harry Potter then you should be shot.
P.S. check out ken's myspace page. you're gonna SHIT yourself. Keep in mind he's a straight, 26-year-old professional photographer.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=1233526
More loser-y thankfulness. this time by the dynamic duo of Loree and Laura. sweet.
Victim: Loree S and Laura D
Blog: Giving Thanks...
I may have hit the motherload with the submission of Loree and Laura's blog by one of its creators (who shall remain nameless). Loree and Laura are two of the kookiest girls i know. But they are very smart and both have a really good sense of humor.
Which is why i'm sure they won't mind if I rip into their lame Giving Thanks blog. I'm assuming loree wrote them cause they start with HUSBAND. Laura aint married... yet, thank God. I'm trying desperately to hang on to my single friends.
Anywho... here's their list. I've indicated whether or not i agree...
1. My husband Rob's a decent guy but i don't know if i'm thankful for him, per say
2. Family and friends L A M E... friends are for losers
3. My house i haven't visited loree's house yet but i'm sure it's filled with TV trays and nerd accessories
4. That I don't live in Texas anymore Texas rocks and anyone who can't see that is blind
5. Super Mario Galaxy eh
6. Colby-Jack Cheese i concur. but i prefer your more pungent cheeses such as sharp cheddar, gouda and asiago
7. Kristen Bell grow up, loree
8. Friday Night Lights never seen it ... never want to
9. Keri Russell if there's one thing loree and i agree on, it's FELICITY.
10. How I Met Your Mother nope, sorry
11. The Office snooze
12. 30 Rock who wants to watch that big lesbian tina faye?
13. Anthropologie loree, why am i friends with you?
14. Banana Republic oh yeah, this is why. Banana Republic is my Mecca.
15. CourtTV nope
16. Sam Waterston’s eyebrows i like it when people try to be funny and fail
17. Hoodies point for loree. Hoodies, particularly those with magical properties, are terrific
18. The Wire no comment
19. Lost Dear God, let me never get caught up in this piece of shit show
20. AvedaAlpha-Hydrox AHA Souffle skin care is essential. very good loree
21. H&M but of course
22. Pie has there ever been a more beautiful word (other than bacon)?
23. My Garmin GPS since this helps me in NO WAY i'll go ahead and disagree with loree being thankful for it
24. Macs for suckers. don't buy into the hype!
25. Laura Mercier no idea
26. Converse shoes i think people who were picked on in middle and high school like converse shoes
27. High-Speed Wireless Internet helping lazy people be even lazier is what America is all about
28. PerezHilton.com juicy
29. Snapped nope
30. Entertainment Weekly this show is like the well behaved half-sister of "The Soup"
31. Target people who think they have good taste shop at Target
32. World’s Best Burger and my co-blogger. And actual burgers, because they’re tasty. I don't heart burgers. but i heart loree and her co-blogger laura.
Blog: Giving Thanks...
I may have hit the motherload with the submission of Loree and Laura's blog by one of its creators (who shall remain nameless). Loree and Laura are two of the kookiest girls i know. But they are very smart and both have a really good sense of humor.
Which is why i'm sure they won't mind if I rip into their lame Giving Thanks blog. I'm assuming loree wrote them cause they start with HUSBAND. Laura aint married... yet, thank God. I'm trying desperately to hang on to my single friends.
Anywho... here's their list. I've indicated whether or not i agree...
1. My husband Rob's a decent guy but i don't know if i'm thankful for him, per say
2. Family and friends L A M E... friends are for losers
3. My house i haven't visited loree's house yet but i'm sure it's filled with TV trays and nerd accessories
4. That I don't live in Texas anymore Texas rocks and anyone who can't see that is blind
5. Super Mario Galaxy eh
6. Colby-Jack Cheese i concur. but i prefer your more pungent cheeses such as sharp cheddar, gouda and asiago
7. Kristen Bell grow up, loree
8. Friday Night Lights never seen it ... never want to
9. Keri Russell if there's one thing loree and i agree on, it's FELICITY.
10. How I Met Your Mother nope, sorry
11. The Office snooze
12. 30 Rock who wants to watch that big lesbian tina faye?
13. Anthropologie loree, why am i friends with you?
14. Banana Republic oh yeah, this is why. Banana Republic is my Mecca.
15. CourtTV nope
16. Sam Waterston’s eyebrows i like it when people try to be funny and fail
17. Hoodies point for loree. Hoodies, particularly those with magical properties, are terrific
18. The Wire no comment
19. Lost Dear God, let me never get caught up in this piece of shit show
20. AvedaAlpha-Hydrox AHA Souffle skin care is essential. very good loree
21. H&M but of course
22. Pie has there ever been a more beautiful word (other than bacon)?
23. My Garmin GPS since this helps me in NO WAY i'll go ahead and disagree with loree being thankful for it
24. Macs for suckers. don't buy into the hype!
25. Laura Mercier no idea
26. Converse shoes i think people who were picked on in middle and high school like converse shoes
27. High-Speed Wireless Internet helping lazy people be even lazier is what America is all about
28. PerezHilton.com juicy
29. Snapped nope
30. Entertainment Weekly this show is like the well behaved half-sister of "The Soup"
31. Target people who think they have good taste shop at Target
32. World’s Best Burger and my co-blogger. And actual burgers, because they’re tasty. I don't heart burgers. but i heart loree and her co-blogger laura.
Laura the Nerd... and other tales of sadness
Victim: Laura D
Laura says: Ha ha Severo! Blogging rocks! I knew you'd see the light
Bacon Soup says: This is EXACTLY why i didn't want to start a blog. because then all my little nerd friends would think i've finally joined their cluster and become a fledgling nerd myself. Laura left this as a comment to my post regarding a recently-released Bob Dylan biopic.
Well let me tell you something, Laura. Blogging does not, as you so enthusiastically proclaimed, ROCK. Who the hell says "Blogging rocks?" If anyone sees Laura D on the streets of Cincinatti (i think that's where she lives) kindly beat her.
my love to all
Laura says: Ha ha Severo! Blogging rocks! I knew you'd see the light
Bacon Soup says: This is EXACTLY why i didn't want to start a blog. because then all my little nerd friends would think i've finally joined their cluster and become a fledgling nerd myself. Laura left this as a comment to my post regarding a recently-released Bob Dylan biopic.
Well let me tell you something, Laura. Blogging does not, as you so enthusiastically proclaimed, ROCK. Who the hell says "Blogging rocks?" If anyone sees Laura D on the streets of Cincinatti (i think that's where she lives) kindly beat her.
my love to all
A must see
Damn it. This is already turning into one of those blogs that i hate. Ok so permit me a brief moment of self indulgence. I would like to suggest that the movie "I'm Not There" is a very good film that anyone intrigued by Dylan himself, the 60s, the Beat generation or folk music should see. It's sort of a bio-pic about the life of Bob Dylan. Directed by Todd Haynes, it's unique in that 7 different actors play 7 different aspects of Dylan's personality.
Actors who play Dylan include Richard Gere, Christian Bale, Heath Ledger and the incomparable Cate Blanchett who plays "Jude" - a personification of Dylan's androgeny. The film is narrated by Kris Kristofferson.
Here's a clip of Blanchett as Dylan at a pivotal time in his life ... his first meeting with poet Allen Ginsberg...
Actors who play Dylan include Richard Gere, Christian Bale, Heath Ledger and the incomparable Cate Blanchett who plays "Jude" - a personification of Dylan's androgeny. The film is narrated by Kris Kristofferson.
Here's a clip of Blanchett as Dylan at a pivotal time in his life ... his first meeting with poet Allen Ginsberg...
Monday, November 26, 2007
What does "chinese" mean..... REALLY?
Victim: John B
Blog title:Belize, snakeheads, and General Tso
Blog date: Nov. 26
John says: I’m not talking about that kind of food that some snobs refer to as “authentic” cuisine, I’m talking about General Tso’s chicken, and fried EVERYTHING. How I could live without it, I really don’t know. I’d probably starve or get my 6 pack back, but I’m married now and why work so hard.
Bacon Soup says: John's blog was created simply to make fun of me and the country of Belize. However, he unknowingly includes a universal truth in his absurd ramblings. If an asian person serves us wonton soup, does it not AUTOMATICALLY make it chinese food? And if we are being served Chinese food by an asian person, does it not AUTOMATICALLY make that person Chinese regardless of their ACTUAL country of origin? Of course it does. John hit the nail on the head here by questioning the notion of "authentic" chinese food. Who are those snobs to question whether or not the glistening Kung Pau chicken on my plate or the brocoRi chicken i slam down my gullet are "authentic?" How DARE they imply that the hot and sour soup - the nectar of the gods - that i drink by the gallon is not "authentic" chinese cuisine? Thank you John for saying what we're all thinking.
And by the way, i can see you having a 6-pack like i can see Donald Trump being the spokesmodel for Pantene...... warmest regards
Blog title:Belize, snakeheads, and General Tso
Blog date: Nov. 26
John says: I’m not talking about that kind of food that some snobs refer to as “authentic” cuisine, I’m talking about General Tso’s chicken, and fried EVERYTHING. How I could live without it, I really don’t know. I’d probably starve or get my 6 pack back, but I’m married now and why work so hard.
Bacon Soup says: John's blog was created simply to make fun of me and the country of Belize. However, he unknowingly includes a universal truth in his absurd ramblings. If an asian person serves us wonton soup, does it not AUTOMATICALLY make it chinese food? And if we are being served Chinese food by an asian person, does it not AUTOMATICALLY make that person Chinese regardless of their ACTUAL country of origin? Of course it does. John hit the nail on the head here by questioning the notion of "authentic" chinese food. Who are those snobs to question whether or not the glistening Kung Pau chicken on my plate or the brocoRi chicken i slam down my gullet are "authentic?" How DARE they imply that the hot and sour soup - the nectar of the gods - that i drink by the gallon is not "authentic" chinese cuisine? Thank you John for saying what we're all thinking.
And by the way, i can see you having a 6-pack like i can see Donald Trump being the spokesmodel for Pantene...... warmest regards
Chris the sap and Mickey the racist.... allegedly
Victim: Chris M
Blog title: Top 10 things I'm year-end-review thankful for
Blog date: Nov. 20
Chris says: I'm gonna beat you suckahs to the punch with a couple of cliche post topics rolled into one. I know in a couple of days bloggers all over the country will write about what they're thankful for, and then in about six weeks they'll once again seasonally conspire to write their personal year-end reviews. Well, here are both of mine combined, two days and about six weeks early, respectively. (Sorry, Mickey. I know you'll hate me for being cliche.)
Bacon Soup says: Christ almighty! is there anything worse than someone being "thankful" for all their blessings? (insert whiney voice here) thanks for my family, thanks for a roof over my head, thanks for the food that nourishes my body. BIG DEAL. You suck Chris Marr. Being thankful is for pussies.
Victim: Mickey D - nicest guy you'll ever meet ... and alleged racist
Blog title: Viva Los Frijoles de la Tequila Roja!
Blog date: Nov. 26
Mickey says: "I will stay close to home and fix what ails our neighbors to the south, the should-be-great nation of Mexico, a country rich with not only vibrant culture, but also vast natural and human resources."
"In other words, viva la revolucion! The reason we have an immigration debate in this country as it relates to Mexico is because their country actually sucks worse than ours, so they want out. Naturally. So I’m going to take it over. Under the as yet to be designed glorious flag of Los Frijoles de la Tequila Roja, I, along with Sammy Hagar, the Red Rocker himself and my trusty first lieutenant, will scour the construction sites and restaurant kitchens of America in search of any and all sturdy, motivated and patriotic hombres with a desire to bring the former glory of the Aztecs to their homeland once again."
Bacon Soup says: I extracted this little gem from Mickey's blog for today in which, when asked what nation's government he'd overthrow he responded with Mexico. Great blog - satire at its finest. A must read. I like that Mickey first refers to Mexico as a should-be-great nation with a "vibrant culture" and refers to its vast natural and human resources. Then he proceeds to pepper his post with more Mexican stereotypes than you can shake a burrito at. Apparently if you're in need of Mexican immigrants, simply scour your local construction sites and restaurant kitchens in search of (as he puts it) "sturdy, motivated and patriotic hombres with a desire to bring the former glory of the Aztecs to their homeland once again." And apparently after Mickey (the whitest guy i know) leads his patriotic hombres to a glorious revolution, "Our triumphant march into El Estadio Azteca, where a packed house will shower us with chicklets and praise, will likely be our last moment of glory."
Blog title: Top 10 things I'm year-end-review thankful for
Blog date: Nov. 20
Chris says: I'm gonna beat you suckahs to the punch with a couple of cliche post topics rolled into one. I know in a couple of days bloggers all over the country will write about what they're thankful for, and then in about six weeks they'll once again seasonally conspire to write their personal year-end reviews. Well, here are both of mine combined, two days and about six weeks early, respectively. (Sorry, Mickey. I know you'll hate me for being cliche.)
Bacon Soup says: Christ almighty! is there anything worse than someone being "thankful" for all their blessings? (insert whiney voice here) thanks for my family, thanks for a roof over my head, thanks for the food that nourishes my body. BIG DEAL. You suck Chris Marr. Being thankful is for pussies.
Victim: Mickey D - nicest guy you'll ever meet ... and alleged racist
Blog title: Viva Los Frijoles de la Tequila Roja!
Blog date: Nov. 26
Mickey says: "I will stay close to home and fix what ails our neighbors to the south, the should-be-great nation of Mexico, a country rich with not only vibrant culture, but also vast natural and human resources."
"In other words, viva la revolucion! The reason we have an immigration debate in this country as it relates to Mexico is because their country actually sucks worse than ours, so they want out. Naturally. So I’m going to take it over. Under the as yet to be designed glorious flag of Los Frijoles de la Tequila Roja, I, along with Sammy Hagar, the Red Rocker himself and my trusty first lieutenant, will scour the construction sites and restaurant kitchens of America in search of any and all sturdy, motivated and patriotic hombres with a desire to bring the former glory of the Aztecs to their homeland once again."
Bacon Soup says: I extracted this little gem from Mickey's blog for today in which, when asked what nation's government he'd overthrow he responded with Mexico. Great blog - satire at its finest. A must read. I like that Mickey first refers to Mexico as a should-be-great nation with a "vibrant culture" and refers to its vast natural and human resources. Then he proceeds to pepper his post with more Mexican stereotypes than you can shake a burrito at. Apparently if you're in need of Mexican immigrants, simply scour your local construction sites and restaurant kitchens in search of (as he puts it) "sturdy, motivated and patriotic hombres with a desire to bring the former glory of the Aztecs to their homeland once again." And apparently after Mickey (the whitest guy i know) leads his patriotic hombres to a glorious revolution, "Our triumphant march into El Estadio Azteca, where a packed house will shower us with chicklets and praise, will likely be our last moment of glory."
Thanks for satirically perpetuating every Mexican stereotype we know Mickey. You're the man.
Welcome to Bacon Soup
I never thought i'd see the day when I, Severo Avila, would be posting a blog. Of course this goes against everything I stand for but fear not, this isn't one of those blogs where i ramble on endlessly about politics or current events or fashion or "feelings." I realize that none of you cares about my life. I own that.
I also realize, however, that there are many people (my friends included) who pour their hearts out in impassioned personal or political blogs. And SOMETIMES those impassioned rants are worth making fun of.
Therefore, with the most heartfelt of intentions, I have asked my blogging friends to submit their blogs as fodder for "Bacon Soup." Like "The Soup" on E! i'll be taking funny, embarassing or otherwise asonine snippets and sentences from some of my friends' blogs and commenting (cuttingly, of course) on them for your amusement.
I fully realize that karma will bite me in the ass big time. And of course Bacon Soup will be open to any of my friends as fodder for their own blogs. It's a vicious cycle that i'm more than happy to start.
So... i'll start blogging as I do some research into my friends' blogs.
A big Thank You! to Chris Marr for offering up his blog as my first victim. Also to Mickey for unkowingly offering up HIS blog (via Chris Marr).
Let's see how long this lasts before i get bored and move on to some other endeavor.
I also realize, however, that there are many people (my friends included) who pour their hearts out in impassioned personal or political blogs. And SOMETIMES those impassioned rants are worth making fun of.
Therefore, with the most heartfelt of intentions, I have asked my blogging friends to submit their blogs as fodder for "Bacon Soup." Like "The Soup" on E! i'll be taking funny, embarassing or otherwise asonine snippets and sentences from some of my friends' blogs and commenting (cuttingly, of course) on them for your amusement.
I fully realize that karma will bite me in the ass big time. And of course Bacon Soup will be open to any of my friends as fodder for their own blogs. It's a vicious cycle that i'm more than happy to start.
So... i'll start blogging as I do some research into my friends' blogs.
A big Thank You! to Chris Marr for offering up his blog as my first victim. Also to Mickey for unkowingly offering up HIS blog (via Chris Marr).
Let's see how long this lasts before i get bored and move on to some other endeavor.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
