Blog title: Top 10 things I'm year-end-review thankful for
Blog date: Nov. 20
Chris says: I'm gonna beat you suckahs to the punch with a couple of cliche post topics rolled into one. I know in a couple of days bloggers all over the country will write about what they're thankful for, and then in about six weeks they'll once again seasonally conspire to write their personal year-end reviews. Well, here are both of mine combined, two days and about six weeks early, respectively. (Sorry, Mickey. I know you'll hate me for being cliche.)
Bacon Soup says: Christ almighty! is there anything worse than someone being "thankful" for all their blessings? (insert whiney voice here) thanks for my family, thanks for a roof over my head, thanks for the food that nourishes my body. BIG DEAL. You suck Chris Marr. Being thankful is for pussies.
Victim: Mickey D - nicest guy you'll ever meet ... and alleged racist
Blog title: Viva Los Frijoles de la Tequila Roja!
Blog date: Nov. 26
Mickey says: "I will stay close to home and fix what ails our neighbors to the south, the should-be-great nation of Mexico, a country rich with not only vibrant culture, but also vast natural and human resources."
"In other words, viva la revolucion! The reason we have an immigration debate in this country as it relates to Mexico is because their country actually sucks worse than ours, so they want out. Naturally. So I’m going to take it over. Under the as yet to be designed glorious flag of Los Frijoles de la Tequila Roja, I, along with Sammy Hagar, the Red Rocker himself and my trusty first lieutenant, will scour the construction sites and restaurant kitchens of America in search of any and all sturdy, motivated and patriotic hombres with a desire to bring the former glory of the Aztecs to their homeland once again."
Bacon Soup says: I extracted this little gem from Mickey's blog for today in which, when asked what nation's government he'd overthrow he responded with Mexico. Great blog - satire at its finest. A must read. I like that Mickey first refers to Mexico as a should-be-great nation with a "vibrant culture" and refers to its vast natural and human resources. Then he proceeds to pepper his post with more Mexican stereotypes than you can shake a burrito at. Apparently if you're in need of Mexican immigrants, simply scour your local construction sites and restaurant kitchens in search of (as he puts it) "sturdy, motivated and patriotic hombres with a desire to bring the former glory of the Aztecs to their homeland once again." And apparently after Mickey (the whitest guy i know) leads his patriotic hombres to a glorious revolution, "Our triumphant march into El Estadio Azteca, where a packed house will shower us with chicklets and praise, will likely be our last moment of glory."
Thanks for satirically perpetuating every Mexican stereotype we know Mickey. You're the man.
4 comments:
Ah, look at Severo defending the honor of his Mexican brethren -- whom he has oft claimed to revile.
A valiant beginning for Bacon Soup. Let's just hope you find more sources of fodder than Mickey and me.
Gee, Severo- If I had known you were a part of my audience I would have really stuffed it full of stereotypes. Until now, my readers have been some of the whitest people on Earth, and my deep-seated white guilt prevented me from resorting to base stereotypes. Wait a second- you're the whitest person I know! One word: tennis.
HEY. i take offense to that. Tennis is such a universal sport. Anyone who's rich can play. All elitist people are welcome. The sport embraces everyone whose upper-class breeding allows them entry into a discriminating country club. You don't know what the hell you're talking about. oh wait.. gotta go. i'm late for a match with Muffy and Brock followed by tea on the lawn.
Didn't he also say he was going to throw all the undesirables in Mexico over the border into Belize? I thought you'd take more offense at that.
And I'm a junior varsity tennis coach now, so I'm probably whiter than you.
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