Victim: Loree S.
Blog Title: Getting Into The Holiday Spirit
Loree says: What I dislike: the expectations. I feel like the holidays are so romanticized by everyone—including America’s biggest retailers—that we have come to expect it to be this magical, warm, happy, fuzzy time where everything is perfect and the sky is filled with marshmallow clouds. I don’t like the pressure. So I get bummed out pretty easily during the holidays, probably because I’m thinking about how I’m supposed have an ecstasy-like high during this time period, when I really just feel like I do the rest of the year. Except busier. And more full.
Bacon Soup says: man, and i thought I was dark and depressing. Loree somehow finds a way to brood over the last bastion of good will - the holidays - when, like she says, we're sort of expected to be a little more cheery and we TRY to be a little better to those around us and when we TRY to remember to treasure those we care about. I for one try to be a little less of an asshole around the holidays. Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm still a heartless, unfeeling cyborg but i might kick an orphan with a little less zeal or i might smile at a homeless person when i eat a large side of flavorful ham in front of him, or i might be a little more compassionate when i'm flaunting my virginity in front of a rape victim ... you know, little things like that.
But i do empathize with Loree's feelings of being super busy and super full around the holidays. Thankfully i've borrowed a little trick from my good friend Annie...... Annie Rexic. Try binging and purging around the holidays. It works really well if you've got two families to visit at Thanksgiving or Christmas but you don't wanna eat too much at either because you don't wanna feel like a pig. Well if you gorge yourself then throw it all up a little later, you're able to eat EVERYONE's food so you don't disappoint them, but you also make room so you can pack more in. Everyone wins.
Also, i've found that cutting oneself really works when you're trying to get rid of those holiday blues. The beautiful crimson flowing out of your body takes all the negative feelings away with it. Just do it somewhere that won't leave unsightly and easily visible scars.
Happy Holidays kids
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
10 comments:
You know, you should link each post back to the original blog that you're skewering... it's not terribly difficult. Of course, your incisive wit can't be restricted by proper capitalization or spell check, so this may be a bit much to ask.
Severo, I'm really impressed that you're still hanging in there and blogging away.
I think the rape victim may actually be cheered to know that you're still a virgin at your advanced age. I mean at least someone has it worse off.
Loree - i apologize that i'm not at the level of geekery it takes to put a link into my post. if you'd be so kind as to tell me, i'd use it in the future. I'm sure YOU know how to do it.
Jacob - i guess some of us are just a little more selective about the holes we shove our dicks into. i wish i could just fuck ANYTHING like you can but i'm just a big ol' loser :)
In the box that you use to format your text--the rich text box--there should be something that looks kind of like a sideways 8. That's the link formatting. Highlight the text you want to link to, click on that box, and fill in the links. Easy peasy.
thanks. i'll try that next time.
Sick, dude.
BTW, Sever is not a virgin...
I believe you have your friend Annie Rexic mixed up with her cousin, Boo Leemya. Annie just never eats.
Boo Lemia.
Boo Lemia, chirs? really?
wow.
Post a Comment