Victim: Courtney
Blog title: Playing Hookey
Courtney says:
Angel: Get up! You're okay, just a little sniffly.
Devil: Dude, stay in bed. You're sick.
Angel: But you have to print out time sheets!Devil: Screw the time sheets! You can stay in your pajamas and watch The Office on DVD all day!Angel: What if someone finds out you're not really all that sick?
Devil: Who cares? You hate your job anyway! And you have like 100 hours of sick time built up that will just disappear after you quit anyway!
Angel: Fine. At least try to sound congested when you call in.
Bacon Soup: In the latest installment of "things courtney says that make me wanna slit my wrist," she details a conversation between her "Angel" and her "Devil." In what appears to be a delusional episode by someone who clearly is suffering from multiple personality disorder, Courtney details the moral quandry she experiences after calling in sick to work. And she doesn't even paraphrase either. She gives us word-for-word transcript of the alleged conversation by two voices she's hearing in her head.
Listen Sybill, the next time you regale us with a quoted conversation by imaginary voices, at least make it more exciting and dramatic. Why can't your voices tell you to do more intersting things like burn shit or kill people?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
12 comments:
Uh, burn?
Not really. Weak, dude.
Mickey's just jealous you didn't do him.
Perhaps next time the voices in my head will tell me to kick your ass. Of all our friends, I'm pretty sure you're the only one I could beat up.
You could probably take me. I'm just big for my wimpiness.
bring it on bitch. i will cut you. see, i don't really fight fair. i'll go for your uterus. i'll hit you where it hurts.
That's cool. I don't really planning on using it anyway.
I've been jonesing for an old-fashioned blog war -- and us telling Jacob he's depressing and him being all "am not" doesn't count.
What we need is a good slugfest: Courtney and Severo. We'll start in the blogosphere with a battle of wits, and then when the fury can no longer be contained they'll meet in person for the real thing.
What? Too eager?
I'm in. Severo? What say you, you skinny acne-faced little punk?
Courtney, i refuse to stoop to the level of name calling..... you baby-hating, mickey-dating, ebonics-talking whore.
wait, wait, wait, while i applaud Chris for trying to instigate an e-battle, i think it was pretty bland to simply suggest that courtney and i get into it. we're obviously the two most outspoken of the group - that would be too easy.
I'd personally like to see Chris and Mickey get into it. Come on, boys. bring out the good stuff. if you need to delve into those inner pools of vindictiveness and spite please come to me for pointers. I suggest going for the most hurtful, cutting thing you can say and start with that.
Backing down already, Chicken Little? Yeah. You'd better run.
I'm not sure this qualifies as a battle of wits so much as an insult swapping session.
oh courtney, chicken little? that's almost too cute to be insulting. retract those claws before i bring out the heavy ammo and you have to run crying to Grizzly Adams.
I was simply trying to save you a little embarassment.
i'm not usually this nice. ride the wave.
Post a Comment