Victim: Jacob the beer-guzzling dork
Blog Title: Spawn of Stan
Jacob says: Actually it's the spawn of Keith Urban, but since I think Nicole Kidman is the source of all evil (have you actually looked into her eyes, they're portals to hell I tell you!), I prefer to refer to her child as the spawn of Satan. And since I find referring to Satan as Stan hilarious, we'll stick with Spawn of Stan as the title for this here piece.
Bacon Soup says: Let me say for the record that Jacob is one of those idiots who has NEVER met Nicole Kidman but because of the way she's portrayed by the tabloids, he hates her and thinks she's the "source of all evil" as he so eloquently puts it. Although many, many people share his feelings i'm going to go out on a limb and say that having never met her i'll give her the benefit of the doubt that she's actually probably a very nice person.
1. She agreed to enter into a sham marriage with Tom Cruise to help him disguise his homosexuality and continue to get leading roles in major films.
2. She, along with Cruise, adopted two children who by all reports have been brought up way more level-headed than other celebrity kids.
3. She has married and stuck by an australian country singer/alcoholic when she could obviously do a lot better.
4. She has exquisite skin and wears Carolina Herrera like nobody's business.
All these things lead me to believe that Miss Kidman could perhaps be a very intelligent, personable individual.
So before you jump on the "Nicole Kidman is evil bandwagon" with that fuckin' idiot Jacob simply because he posted an unflattering picture of her on his blog, please stop to consider that he might just be jealous of her beauty and celebrity.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
It's not what I read, it's the fact that I get honestly creeped out when I see her.
You've never met her either.
Also, the devil seduces, not frightens. Evil wouldn't be all that dangerous if it were obvious, not would it. If you ever met the devil, he'd be well-dressed, personable, handsome, intelligent and thoughtful. He'd get you to commit evil by convincing you it was doing good. It stands to reason that his feminine side would present the same way.
Besides, I hardly think my opinion is going to hurt her feelings even if the unlikely event of her reading it ever happens.
First of all, that little bit about her wearing Carolina Herrera "like nobody's business": wow.
Secondly, I'm not sure marrying a drunk country singer when you could do better is something worth bragging about.
I'm pretty sure Jacob's only taking issue with the pure evil that is, in fact, evident in her eyes.
And are you saying she wears Carolina Herrera like Buffalo Bill wore fat chicks in "The Silence of the Lambs"? She must be evil. Poor Carolina.
All i'm saying that if she IS in fact the devil, let's cut her some slack. Lest we forget, in many circles I'M considered the devil. And you guys LOVE me? righ?...... right guys?..... anyone?
Severo, you are the biggest whore for compliments. Do we really need to prop up your ego for you? Is it that heavy?
And I'd like to take this opportunity to ask everyone who has a blog to please turn off the word verification feature on your comments. It's a pain in my ass.
mickey, clearly you haven't been in our social circle long enought to know that i have the LOWEST self-esteem of probably anyone in the world so yes, i do need constant validation of my worth from those around me. Sorry.
Post a Comment