Victim: Meaghan
Blog Title: Oh Christopher!
meaghan says: Over the past few months of blogging, I have noticed a pattern in the friends my husband acquired in college who now keep up with him through the blogosphere. I believe they may all want to bed him.
Bacon soup says: First of all Meaghan, as incredulous as you may be at hearing this, not everyone wants to "bed" your husband. I think Chris is a cool guy but i don't know that i wanna actually have sex with him. I mean sure i'll make out with him and maybe allow a little over the sweater action but that's as far as it'll go.
Anyway, after this opening paragraph, Meaghan proceeds to complain about the fact that Chris' dork friends are demanding more posts from him. So she tries to warn them that if they don't stop, Chris will get a big head and she'll be forced to take him down a notch through verbal abuse. I personally think Meaghan is just jealous that the world is clamoring for more posts by Chris Marr. Deal with it Meaghan. You just can't handle the fact that Chris is more successful than you are. Let's face it. In every relationship, there are always those people who's light shines a little more brightly than their partner's. Bacon Soup's advice to Mrs. Marr? Hitch your wagon to Chris' star and ride it out. Bask in his reflected glory for as long as you can until - months from now when he's a blogging celebrity and giddy with E-fame - he goes through a midlife crisis, buys a Beamer and dumps you for a trophy wife named Kiki.
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9 comments:
You really are doing well with continuing the cruelty! I'm proud of you. However, did you read the part about Chris being intelligent? Intelligent and Kiki don't mix. Sorry!
oh Meaghan. clearly you're unfamiliar with the curse of the Kikis. Kikis are young, perky, often blonde and big-busted girls who make intelligent, attractive and otherwise totally datable guys go completely bonkers. They cast some kinds of spell over men to turn them into drooling idiots. Trust me, if a kiki wanted your man there's nothing you could do about it. That's why it's my life's mission to rid the world of kikis.
Why does it not hurt me so much when you make fun of me and not the others. Mickey makes me cry. You make me laugh.
Oh, it's because you're short. Sorry.
Anyway, I think I understand Mickey's comment now. Maybe he read this one first and honestly, after this one, the other one doesn't stand up. I love the part about you making out with Chris. Hilarious.
jacob, i can tell by your inflection that you think what you're saying is funny.... but.... no.
I don't know any Kikis, but just the name is intriguing. Where can I find these Kikis?
Also, I was planning to keep it a secret, but I have been receiving some pretty handsome royalty checks from my blog since the middle of November. So laugh it up, Bacon Soup.
Thirdly, if you keep using my last name on your blog, eventually the more conservative wings of my family will find my blog and subsequently disown me. Help a brothah out, will you?
Severo, I compliment you and then you bash me. Screw you. I'll never say a nice thing to you again. Unless Chris admits to making out with you.
sorry, jacob. i appreciate you saying nice things about me and i think you're a very intelligent, resourceful guy.
Chris still hasn't admitted to making out with you, so you still suck.
I didn't even see this post until today. Woops.
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